Hosanna Nazar: Holding on to His Promises
Spring Term 2018, Unity
When Pastor Yang announced that Cornerstone would be purchasing the Bible College of Wales in 2012, I knew I wanted to be a part of the amazing heritage, however long it might take for me to get there. I had planned to attend the course after graduating from university, so that I would have enough time to save up for it. God had a different plan.
Little did I know that this would be one of many changes in the plan I had for my life, and that it would start me on my journey towards learning to trust in God’s perfect timing.
My BCW journey started 5 days before the orientation for Spring 2018. On 25 Feb, I got a phone call from my dad. He told me someone was offering to pay for my course fees and accommodation if I wanted to go. The orientation was coming Friday, so I had to make my decision soon. To add, I had just secured an internship that would’ve lasted for the same amount of time as the course. I believe God opened both doors for me, but I felt strongly to BCW. After getting confirmation from some of the key leaders in my life, I decided to take a step of faith to give up the internship and attend the School of Ministry.
During my time in BCW, I’ve made lifelong friendships, encountered God in so many life-changing ways, and learned to lean in and listen to His voice. God brought me through the process of healing from past hurts, establishing my identity in Him.
I applied for university at the start of my journey in BCW and at the end of my time there, I had received the worst news possible in regards to my application, I did not get in. I was crushed. I had it all planned out and to receive this rejection, I felt lost and unsure of what to do next.
I dreaded leaving Wales because what was waiting for me back home was uncertainty and darkness. I am so thankful for the community I found in my batch mates and the staff at BCW. God spoke to me through them; they edified and encouraged me. I truly felt so loved. I headed back to Singapore filled with love, ready to face the uncertainty.
I spent the rest of 2018 struggling with what God was bringing me through. Looking back, I now know that God was dealing with how I still placed a large portion of my identity in meeting the expectations of society. It was revealed in my disappointment as I compared my journey with those around me. I felt like I was falling behind my peers who were able to secure places in universities.
In March 2019, I approached the university application process with a jaded mentality, applying for whatever courses I could apply for, even though the Lord had told me back in 2014 that I was called to be a counsellor, and that I would pursue Psychology in university. I still had not come to the place where I could fully trust that God would open the door for me. Once again, doors closed in on my face.
I started to doubt, “Did I hear You right? Was my desire to help others through counselling just my own fleshly desire that I had mislabelled as something You had placed on my heart?”
I thought that life after BCW would be a breeze, that after hearing so much from God and having so many encounters with Him, my life would only go up. I was not expecting such a low, valley experience.
Things started to turn at the end of 2019. I applied to university again, but this time I decided not to compromise and apply for Psychology—trusting that if God had called me to this, He will open the right doors for me. On 18 Nov 2019, I received the acceptance letter into the university course that I applied for.
With the acceptance came the financial concern to afford it. The journey that God had taken me on the past year brought my faith to the next level, so I faced that challenge with a newfound faith that God would provide for the door that He opened for me. True enough, not only did He provide the finances to cover all 4 years of school fees, He provided enough for me to get the study supplies I needed!
During a prophetic gift-giving exercise, a friend of mine gave me a ring and with it, a prophetic word: The tiny gems on the ring represented the stars in the sky, acting as a reminder of God’s promises for my life—the way they reminded Abraham of God’s promise.
I was reminded of how after God gave Abraham that promise, the sky became so dark the next few nights that he could not see the stars—yet he did not doubt God. This is an encouragement for anyone who may need it, don’t doubt in the dark what God has promised in the light.
Hold on to His promises, especially when it seems that everything is not going the way we expected it to; His timing is perfect and His plans are beyond anything we can possibly plan out.